Turn That Monday Upside Down

Some people around the office call me The Puppeteer. Ok maybe I am the only person who calls myself this, but I really think more people should. I am considering asking for a job title change in fact.

Dear Ingrid, Operations Manager is so corporate blah boring sounding, Master Puppeteer sounds cutting edge and innovative, much like myself. xoxo, Amanda

Not convinced that I truly deserve this title change I can tell. Well keep reading ye-of-little-faith; I shall convert you by the end of this rambling.

First, I present the official, all-knowing Wikipedia definition for your reference.

“A puppeteer is a person who manipulates an inanimate object, such as a puppet, in real time to create the illusion of life. The puppeteer may be visible to or hidden from the audience. A puppeteer can operate a puppet indirectly by the use of strings, rods, wires, electronics or directly by his or her own hands placed inside the puppet or holding it externally.”

…and now my Quick Left job description for comparison:

"An Operations Manager is a person who works with but is not an engineer, such as a developer or designer, in real time to create the illusion of giving them what they want. The Operations Manager may be visible to or hidden from projects and day to day dealings. An Operations Manager can operate an engineer indirectly by the use of music, sugar, carbs, gifs or directly by his or her own hands placed inside the engineer or holding it externally."

Ugh… yeah that last part is negotiable. Or at least that is what I was told.

This morning I decided to work my Master Puppeteer magic as a type of case study. Let me set the scene for you.

It is a normal Monday morning at Quick Left with the crew rolling in slow and sluggish, but there seems to be an extra flavor of blah in the air. I wait to see if maybe my senses are off but of course they aren’t, I have a 6th sense; reading the dev mood. Here is where my Master Puppeteer skills kicked into action.

Step 1: Bump and Grind

Turn on but not too loud, the classic mood setter of R. Kelly’s “Bump and Grind”. As the team starts to wake up to the faint sounds of “my mind's telling me no, but my body, my body’s telling me yes” insert drum machine magic and just wait for the smiles, head nods, and cackles to start rolling in. Warning: you must survey the dev row before playing said jam to make sure no one has had time to put their noise canceling headphones on yet. Timing is everything.

Step 2: Sugar and Carbs

Ok you’ve lifted them from the 5th level of “Case of the Mondays” to a manageable level 3. Some would stop here but not the Master Puppeteer. It is time to make a dash to pick up a plethora of the most powder sugared, jelly infused, chocolate drizzled pastry assortment money can buy. Money is no object when you are trying to ensure a happy team (read as less grumbling later in the day for me to work with). “Just because I care team, eat up!” Ha.

Step 3: Gifs

Now this one takes some advanced planning. I have a folder for such occasions that I add to on weekends for such emergencies. I put gifs in here that I only use for Master Puppeteer situations. You can’t just use them on a whim. No, these special gifs are like emergency flares. Only in times of real need. An example of this would be:

I hear what you are saying and sure some may call this technique “manipulation” but that sounds harsh. I have feelings too ya know casual reader. It is important to keep the mood exactly at 71 degrees to ensure a pleasant work environment for the team (read as me).

“Ok, sure Amanda you are the greatest ever and this makes more sense than global warming, but does it work?” Well, they don’t call me the Puppeteer for nothing!

Till next time friends go get yourself a chocolate croissant, put on some “Bump and Grind”, and go gif hunting.

You are welcome.